My big girl is going to middle school!

After picking up our packet and filling out the redundant paper work I am feeling less apprehensive about middle school. I have to admit I am not sure who was more nervous at first. We got her schedule, bought locker shelves and decorated them with duct tape (pink and green) and then walked around the school following her schedule from room to room. It's not so bad. She has a great schedule and works her way from one end of the building to the other by the end of the day. I think this helped both she and I to feel better about things. It took Lexi a few tmies to get the hang of opening her locker and by the second day of registration (yes we did stop by a second day) Alexis was a pro! We had to stop back so she could decoreate her locker with pictures of some of her favorite country music singers and of course lets not leave out all the of the many Twilight actors! I know Alexis is a good kid and she will do well in middle school!

Why isn't there more time in the day.

Today is going to be hectic! We have Tae Kwon Do until 11:40 a birthday party at noon, a hair cut that isn't going to happen, mom's yard work, and a trip to the heights to bring some more of my items I sell down to the shop. Lately we seem to have very full days and so little time. Yesterday Alexis mowed our yard and then our neighbor Tom's. Then She stayed home and took care of the baby while I headed to the cancer center with my mom and Antoine headed to his dad's to do his yard work. Did we bite off more then we can chew? Isn't service a good thing.



I thought having Alexis take on mowing my father in laws yard it was a good thing to do, a way in which she could give back. It ends up being a family affair and Antoine and Alexis head over there to mow edge and blow. We have already been doing my neighbors yard as his wife is in a nursing /rehab facility after coming down with H1N1 in Jan. Since we were doing for everyone else it only seemed right that now that mom is sick we would do her yard too. I know it's a good thing but I just wish we had some more time!

Today was a very hard day.

This blog was supposed to be about mothering and maybe in some ways this post is. Today I went with my mom to her first Chemo treatment. I didn't want to be there, in fact I dilly dallied around until I was 20 minutes late give or take a few. When I got there I had a bit of an attitude and wanted to know where the privacy curtains were. I "didn't want to sit there and look at sick people". Afterall my mom was not one of them. As I sat there the reality of why I was there began to sink in. My mom is one of these sick people. She has Cancer, though they say it's a good kind.

Ahh if I hear "it's a good kind" one more time I think I will scream! If it's so good would you like to have some! Cancer sucks and though the prognosis for stage 3 Hodgkins Lymphoma is better then some it is still cancer and mom still has to go through chemotherapy and all of the side effects that come with it.

Mom said we would only be at the cancer center for 2 hours but to our supprise one medication takes two hours but there were at least 6 she had to get so we were there for 5 1/2 hours today. As time passed slowly, I eased up and at one point mom asked me to go over to the cabinet and look at some hats and caps they had there. I did and I came back with some winners! I figured if we were there we might as well laugh a little, isn't it good medicine? I found the most hideous hats I could and retuned with one crocheted with some shaggy yarn, half of it bright yellow on top and the bottom black. I showed it to her and couldn't keep a straight face. I told her the kids would love it and each time I saw her I would have to "buzz". Next I found a furry Russian looking hat! It was hysterical. I told her I could put some cheetah gerber daisy flower clips on it and she would be "in". I laughed so hard. Lastly I found a rainbow print cap and though she though it was comfortable she didn't want to look like rainbow bright. She decided to get up and go look for her own hats. I think that broke the tension for me and we all got a good laugh and some of the others did too.

It is sinking in finally and the reality of the next 6 months or so is that it won't be fun seeing my mom suffer through this, but it could be worse. I just really didn't want to go here with my mom. Cancer didn't run in our family what the hell happened! I dread the cancer center because it puts me in a situation where I have to look at sickness in the face and it's just way to close to home for me. It was hard enough when my brother in law, and then my mother in law got terminal cancer. It has definitely brought back some raw emotion for me. I didn't want anyone to shave their heads because I didn't want my mom to look out and see sickness. I want her to look at us and see health and know that she too will soon be there with us. I can't wait for her to be better and I continue to pray to the Lord for healing as only he can restore her to health. I know these treatments are necessary and I pray that mom, my sister Kathie, and I all have courage and strength to get through this together.

Summer Fun

This summer started off great and I cannot believe it is almost gone. The girls and I started crafting and before we new it we had a little business. Bella Designs was born from a rediscoved passion for creating things. I never thought I was very creative but one day at work a customer called wondering when her order would be in and it had been nearly a month since she ordered her item. I went home that night thinking I could make the bow holder she ordered and get her her item the next day since she had waited so long for it. My supervisor ended up filling her order with another bow holder from a different vendor but that evening I realized how much I enjoyed creating and crafting and I now had a bow holder I had to sell!

The girls and I had already stated working on making bows and hair clippies so we added bow holders to our list of things to make and sell and off were went. I opened an etsy store just to get some things out there and then brought some of our Bow holders to a local consignment shop to sell there! We have gotten off to a great start and are looking forward to our craft shows this fall.

We needed a name and I couldn't think of anything. We thought of Baby J designs, and some other names but Bella is somthing my husband calls all of us girls since he speaks Italian. Bella has been a bit overused but since it was a loving and affectionate term he called us all we went with it! Bella Designs it was!

Just another crazy day!

If all were calm and uneventful around here I think I wouldn't know what to do with myself. Today, after getting just a couple of hours of sleep, I got the kids off to school and came home to nap with Julianna until 11.

Then I had to get the girls from school due to early release. We ended up eating at Taco Bell for lunch where we ran into a friend. They immediately got all giddy and LOUD, and I had to laugh. It took me back to when I was in junior high and we would just go sit outside the mall watching people coming and going waiting for our ride, the whole time giggling out of control for no apparent reason. I suppose I am just thankful that for the most part they are happy girls! Even though my head hurt and my patience was thin due to the lack of sleep.

After lunch I left Taco Bell with just J, as Alexis was picked up by a friends mom to go play, and Megan went with our friend we bumped into and had lunch with. Since I was down to just one child I decided to go shopping for Megan's party and some much needed groceries. What a joy to shop with only one child!! I was in and out in a jiffy and went to pick up Francesco from school. He was so happy to see us and Julianna was delighted to have him back with us. Recently I have noticed that even though his loudness can make me cringe, Julianna finds it very amusing and he gets reactions out of her that I have never seen before. She was actually chuckeling at his monster noises. I have to admit it was fun to watch them playing together.

We headed home fed Julianna and hung out till the girls came back. Then we headed out to math night at the school. I tried to make sure I sat with each of the girls for at least one activity and I really had fun with them.

We got home about 7:40 and ate the dinner that I managed to get in the oven before we left. I thought it was pretty good but the kids didn't go for the mushrooms and onions they saw in the caserole dish with the pork chops. Oh well their loss.

After completing homework, and taking baths and showers everyone was in bed by 9pm. I would say it was a good day here. It could have been much more hectic if we had gone to soccer training and Tae Kwan Do, but due to math night I didn't want to make us crazy running non stop. Sometimes I enjoy the evenings when there is less to do and we can just relax a bit. Most days I feel like I run on Adrenaline!

Gummy Smiles

Today was a good day! Julianna rolled over from her belly to her back today for the first time. It was so much fun watching her lay on her tummy and pick up her head. Just yesterday she was not able to pick up her head so well and then all of a sudden she mastered it.

It really amazes me how much she changes day to day. She has come so far in the last 4 months. I remember not that long ago holding her little pulsh blue elephant in front of her to motivate her to reach for it. Then the next week she was reaching and actually making contact and ocassionally grapsing it in her hands. Now she can reach for grab and put her elephant and many other items in her mouth.

These days she is drooling all the time, fussing a bit and chewing on mama's fingers for some comfort. I had better get some pictures of her and her gummy smiles before she has a mouth full of teeth.

I truly feel so blessed to have Julianna. I never would have imagined having another child and now I go back and forth about wanting a fifth one that would be close in age to her. Doesn't she need a little buddy! Call me crazy but family is such a blessing and we are blessed beyond belief! God is good!

My Other three

Alexis, Megan, and Francesco are getting so big. Time really passes quickly before your eyes. Alexis is in fifth grade this year and Megan is right behind her in fourth. Francesco just turned five and he keeps us all on our toes.

Alexis is one of the most caring young ladies I know. She is always a help and her generosity makes me very proud! I love watching her sing and dance she sure can put a smile on my face most days. She is always there when mommy needs a hand to set the table or to hold her sister or just when things get hectic around here. Recently I overheard her reading something she had written and I realized she has a gift for writing. She is very intuitive as well and puts her thoughts on paper in a beautiful way. I also admire her commitment to the game of soccer. She has practice three nights a week and games on the weekends and she is there never missing a day. I don't think I would have that dedication to do what she does. I have watched her play soccer knowing her shins are all torn up from playing lots of games and being in shin gaurds all day and she just deals with it. Not every kid has that kind of dedication not to mention the desire to play goalie for her team. I am proud of her

Megan is also very caring and always looks after her family. She is always checking to make sure Daddy doesn't fall asleep without his mask (for fear of his sleep apnea), or checking on her sister when she wakes from a nap crying. Megan is a reader and she loves to curl up with a good book. Megan also loves doing Tae Kwan Do and has come along way. She and her sister are about to test for their green belts so don't mess with her! I love how Megan is so creative and thinks of things in ways I would never imagine. She is just so special and yes I am proud of her too!

Francesco is another story. This boy makes me laugh, yell, cover my eyes for fear of what I might see, smile, and just happy to be his mom. Just look at this picture I took of him skipping back from a pit stop while we were on the road this summer. I love how he is wearing a super man pajama shirt two sizes too small while out and about, to have that freedom! He is quite a character and yes boys really are different. I love listening to him tell a story with his gestures and his "well actually" phrases thrown in there. He is fearless and quite gifted athletically. Watching him play at the little gym or during Tae Kwan Do never fails to bring a smile to your face.

Thank you God for blessing me with such a beautiful family! I pray that I can honor you with the way in which I mother them.

No time to be the kind of mother I would like to be

"Go get in the car and buckle up, I will be right there". With that said, I raced around the house frantically turning off lights and putting away the gallon of milk that was left out on the table. As I raced out the door to shuttle my kids to Tae Kwan Do I approached my car and heard crying. My son came walking up the driveway with tears in his eyes. "What Happened" I asked as I hurriedly placed my daughter in the car. "If you would have listened to me and gotten in the car you wouldn't have gotten hurt"! Tears were streaming down his face, both knees had blood dripping from them and all I could do was strap him in his car seat and remind him that we didn't have time for this right now. We were running on a very tight schedule and if I didn't leave right then my daughter would be late for her class and after all this wouldn't have happened if he had just listened to me. As I threw the car in reverse I though to myself "this is crazy! I don't even have time to be the kind of mother I want to be". Just then my 9 year old said "MOM, don't you even care that he is hurt"! Sure I cared, how had I let myself get to this point that I was so tightly scheduled I didn't have time to console my son when he needed me.

Have any of you ever found yourselves running on such a tight schedule that you don't have time to stop and really be the kind of moms you want to be. I always said I wouldn't have over scheduled kids, that they would do one thing at a time and yet somehow with three children all participating in at least one activity each we are lucky somedays to have time to shovel something in our mouths for dinner before we run on to the next activity. I don't know how I got to this point or how I can change it right now but it's not always so crazy, some days are better then others.